Religion and Spirituality

I Once Believed

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I Once Believed

I once believed in a God of Contradictions, a Parent Almighty, a Loving Creator God of Unlimited Power who was Powerless to Make Humans Obey, especially Women, a God who Needed the Help of Men to Fight Ancient and Modern Wars, to Obey and Kill on Command, Obedient to Commandments and Punishing Laws, a God of Wrath.

I once believed in a God of Sacrifice, a Death Dealing God who Required us to Demonstrate Obedience through our Self Sacrifice and the Sacrifice of our Loved Ones, especially the Innocents, the Child, the Children of God, Sons and Daughters of Man, the countless Sacrifices of Harmless Animals to a Primitive God still worshipped by many.

I once believed in a God of Rewards and Punishments, Rewards of Heaven, of Paradise, for Blind Faith and Blind Obedience, for the Right Genes, the Right Religion, the Chosen, the Elect, the Superior Few- a God of Jealousy, Vengeance and Cruelty to All Others- the Unbelievers, the Infidels, the Heretics, People of the Wrong Religion or Race or Politics, the Wrong History and Geography, the Wrong Beliefs, a Very Exclusive and Elitist God.

I once believed in a God who used Angels (those Humans and Extraterrestrials) with powerful Weapons to Destroy whole Cities, even the Children too- Innocent Infants, Toddlers and Teens, Children of Men and Women in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time (Collateral Damage), Justified Death, Horrific Killing for Power and Control of Earth. Was it they who told us about the Horrors of Hells? I wonder.

I once believed in a God of Retribution, a God of Karma Making us, Forcing us, to Return Again and Again until we Got It Right, until we Outgrew our Unacceptable Behaviours, our Sins born of Ignorance that Mother of Evils, until we finally Saw the Light in our Meditations and Prayers or through our Devotions, Adorations and Rituals Considered Needed to Get It Right, Enlightened At Last.

I walk in the Wonder of Life Itself Letting Go of anything Less than Pure Love and True Freedom, those Other Names for God…

January 19, 2023

Shelley Audrey Wilson

Victoria, BC

This Ochre Ribbon

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This Ochre Ribbon

A mystery to me-

how did this ochre ribbon

come to rest upon my bed

when the sight on a site

of an ochre-robed monk

awakened memories

that lay sleeping peacefully

in my humble heart and head?

Where did it come from,

this ribbon tied at both ends

with ‘tales’ both short and long?

Long ago and far away,

we sat in reverent silence,

my ochre-robed Brothers and me,

our lives peaceful and serene,

disciplined, joyful simply to be

aware in the oneness of Life,

alive in the Light flowing free.

I recall the quiet contemplations,

the mystical prayers, the vibrations

of chants, the silent meditations.

This Now Version of me,

an old woman, a more worldly life,

still goes within now and then

but far less than when

I wore those ochre robes.

What have I learned/remembered

this Now Time around?

I am no victim ever

of this or any destiny.

I create and co-create it all-

every rise and fall and rise again…

I use the Wheel of Life

to Experience, to Evolve as I Revolve.

I choose it all, Ever Free

to stay Being in Perfect Oneness

or Forget my Self, then

venture forth and journey

through Wonders, Worlds, Adventures

Becoming even as this humble Human,

this Now Version, me

now holding this ochre ribbon,

a memory and mystery.

December 21, 2022

Shelley Audrey Wilson

Victoria BC