This and Other Realities: A Confusion of Names
I have to chuckle. We Humans love to name, label and organize Humans and everything with our symbolic letters and sounds of cultural heritage and languages that hold no meaning for other Species, with few exceptions.
Our ‘computer brains’ hold such a small portion of Name possibilities, narrowed further by cultural acceptability and current usage. It’s no wonder that Bureaucrats and A.I. would turn to Numbers, Numbers that Name us, one might say. What Numbers are you?
Many of us also give ourselves or respond to ‘Nicknames’ by which we are known, independent of our ‘legal’ first, given and surnames. As a child, I knew a boy who drowned. To the neighbourhood children, he was ‘Edgy’. I never knew his ‘other’ Names. Another boy was ‘Eggy’, a little less dignified than his first Name ‘Charles’. As an adult, I corresponded with and met a retired Canadian Brigadier General who I knew as ‘Tibo’. I saw him as the reincarnation of Napoleon and before that as an ancient Egyptian ‘General’ too- a Soul exploring the ‘theme’ of Military Power, much like my ‘Soul Explorations’ ongoing ‘theme’ of Art and especially Poetry.
My Mother’s Nickname was ‘Dixie’. It wasn’t until I was in my fifties that I learned Mom’s legal Names were ‘Shirley Claire’ or was it ‘Dorothy Shirley Claire’…? I’ve never seen her birth certificate. All her life, she was known to family, friends, acquaintances and businesses as ‘Dixie’, the Name she gave herself in youth. One day, when staying with her for a while, a letter from the hospital arrived, addressed to ‘Shirley’. I wrote ‘does not live here’ and sent it back. Then my daughter answered a phone call from the hospital asking for ‘Shirley’. Alissa said, “There’s no Shirley here.” The caller said, “No dear, your Grandmother’s Name is Shirley”! Well, Dad was still ‘Stanley’- I mean ‘Stan’. Or was it?
I come from a family of Name Changers. Not just last Names changed through marriage, like Dad’s Mother- Lillian Slater, then Lillian Wilson, then Lillian King, or Mom’s Mother- ‘Dorothy Dacre’, then ‘Dorothy Thicke’, also known as ‘Dolly’ and ‘Dot’ to some. My Mother’s Dad (not her Father) was ‘Charles’, known as ‘Charlie’ and ‘Chuck’. Mom’s eldest brother, we called Uncle ‘Donald’ or ‘Don’, as was the name of my brother ‘Donald’ or ‘Don’. In later years, we were told that Uncle used his legal Name in Southern Ontario. It was ‘Vernon’ or ‘Vern’. I’d not known that before as with Mom’s older brother. Uncle ‘Dacker’, was ‘Harold’ or ‘Harry’. Perhaps his middle Name ‘Dacre’, that of Grandma’s former surname, was changed to ‘Dacker’ during World War Two as well. The Name stuck.
My Uncle ‘Brian’ and my brother ‘Brian’ are the exceptions, both keeping that Name and adding to our continuing need to always clarify who we spoke of in our family conversations. My sister’s name ‘Dorothy’ disappeared in legal Name Changes, and other given Names were added and subtracted over the years along with the surnames of two former husbands. Known for years as ‘Beverley’, she’s now legally ‘Bev’. I expect to hear of another Name Change any day now.
As for myself, I had a few childhood Nicknames that never stuck. Even as a little child, ‘Shelley Belly’ just didn’t feel right, so I wouldn’t respond to it and the childish rhyme ‘died’. In later years, when my flower shop employer was ‘Shelly’, I chose the Nickname of the Little Mermaid ‘Ariel’ to thwart Confusion. For thirteen years that little town knew me as ‘Ariel’, along with my married surname then. I was married for twenty-one years to a man named ‘Roger Gerard’…then came a surprise. When he needed to obtain his birth certificate for some reason, we discovered that his Mother had registered his Name as ‘Joseph’. No ‘Gerard’. Were we legally married? I wondered. Were the two houses we once owned in ‘Roger Gerard’s’ Name and mine, then legally ours? I’ll have to consult my lawyer friend just out of curiosity.
I was and still am surrounded by a confusion of Names. Added to this, I recently ‘googled’ my Name ‘Shelley Wilson’ only to find a photo of my daughter, Alissa, with my own Name. (This tops the time I went to open a new bank account and saw a computer screen, from the side, filled with about five screen ‘pages’ of ‘Shelley Wilson’ accounts. Oh, that they were all mine!! I believe I deposited $10.00 to start the account.) Anyway, Google has ignored my correction of ‘identifying photo’ change request. They must get a lot of that happening. Requests for ‘Updates’ of I.D. Information like for Google Maps perhaps.
Before I retired at age 65, I worked for some years as a Floral Designer in a grocery store chain on Vancouver Island. When I first worked there, the store had another ‘Shelley’, so I used the Name ‘Ariel’ again. I had an artistic habit of dying my hair various colours since I was a teen, so I was in my ‘red hair’ at the time, an obviously mature ‘Little Mermaid’ with an off-key singing voice. I sensed hidden hostility so often from many women I served flowers to and wondered why. Apart from irrational jealousy of my modest physical beauty or an imagined implant to record my humble life, I was baffled. I eventually learned that a red-haired woman using the name ‘Ariel’ was ‘selling her services’ in the building attached to this grocery store and legally advertising in the local newspaper. Another confusion of Names. I reclaimed my legal name ‘Shelley’, as well as my single surname, although I still identify as ‘Ariel’ to some friends in Ontario.

As for my birth certificate, when I sent for it as a teen in the 1960s, I was surprised to find an ‘M’ instead of an ‘F’ to indicate my Female Gender. Having been born with all female body parts and inclinations till then, I knew someone had made a ‘typo’ mistake. The error was quickly corrected.
Only recently have I learned from Genetic Analysis that I’m 21% of Jewish descent, so ‘Ariel’ and ‘Shelley’ do ‘fit’. As a young child, I had a sweater that was unusual. A quote from the English ‘Romantic’ poet Percy Bysshe Shelley was knitted into it.- ‘O Wind, if Winter comes can Spring be far behind’…I was born in the Spring. As a teen, I identified with the poet, Shelley, and I loved the name of his sailboat ‘Ariel’. I resonated with his unfinished poem, ‘The Triumph of Life’. I recognized my Mother as ‘Clare’, the half-sister of ‘Mary Shelley’, many years before I knew Mom had a given Name ‘Claire’. I recognized my teen boyfriend, ‘Rejean’- ‘Rej’ as ‘Harriet’, ‘P.B. Shelley’s first wife. I later recognized my Husband, ‘Roger’ as ‘Mary Shelley’. I also recognized by friend and frenemy ‘Lorraine’ as ‘Hogg’ and my friend and frenemy ‘Wendy’ as ‘Trelawney’. It was clear to me that we all had ‘Soul Issues’ to work on.
When she was born, I recognized my daughter, ‘Alissa’, first as ‘Dorothy’, my Mother’s Mother and my Forever Friend,known to my Soul long before as ‘Edward Williams’, the friend who died with ‘Shelley’ in the Mediterranean waters sailing with ‘Charles Vivian’. They were pirated in a storm after obtaining a large sum of money from an Italian bank for Lord Byron. As a young child, my daughter ‘Alissa’ also now known as ‘Ali Sue’, dreamt of us drowning with all the hungry sharks around us there. We both shared those memories along with many others of past lives together including one in Ireland. One day, as she was sweeping the floor with her little toy broom, my wee sweet child said, “Do you remember when we had a dirt floor and Grandpa had a walking stick?” I chuckled because I remembered too, as did Mom who sometimes even called me ‘Shillelagh’.
I recognized some of these Soul Companions but not all from that time. My son, ‘Aaron Christopher’, no Nickname, was given his first Name by my Husband, ’Roger’, now ‘Joseph’, and his Name ‘Christopher’ by me in recognition of my late Great Uncle ‘Christopher Dacre’, a Yorkshire man who became an American, Mom’s Mother’s brother who she called ‘Chris’. I’ve known his dear Soul in many other times and places.
Though I recognized these Soul Companions, I’m fully aware that every birth is a Fresh Start. This does not confuse me, but only adds to my understanding of here and now, just as The Adult still has The Child within…our Experiences, our Memories, within…
Imagine discovering the multi-layered, expanded information of the Names of your Genetic Ancestors, then adding more layers of Soul Recognition on top- a challenge for even any Super-Computer to identify and ‘organize’ in computations.
I once had an office job as a young woman in Toronto where I learned that there were no less than five ‘Shelley’s were working there- three males and two females if I recall. It was rather confusing so I only lasted a few days. About the same time, I considered legally change my Name to ‘Shelley Shelley Shelley’. A frustrated ‘over-identification’ one might say.
I’ve let go of all of that now. I am…well, I am, and that’s all I really, truly, clearly know about my Spirit and the triumph of Life amidst such a confusion of Names.

December 1, 2021 and edited December 3, 2021
Shelley Wilson